I made the story as silly as possible and came up with names for the different characters as I turned the pages. If you asked me today to recite that story I would draw a blank. On the other hand if you asked me to describe the emotional state that I was in I would tell you that at the root of that experience was a sense of playfulness* I was unafraid of what anyone thought or if I was right or wrong in my approach. I was unaware of the teachers or students observation of me and viewed that event as more of a group effort. I was not creating an experience for them, rather, we were all creating an experience with one another in a playful and participatory way. I remember the pictures being very colorful and vibrant, all of us kids laughing out loud, and some were even throwing ideas out to help me. It was exciting in a way that I very seldom become in my adult life.
Playing with my peers, being creative, not even considering fear for a second... pure, unadulterated childhood...
My imagination was geared in a different direction during that precious time in my life. I only imagined games I could play, stories I could tell, bike rides I could take, what my dolls would say if they could speak, colors I had never seen before...and then I would promptly share those things with others and put those ideas into action. I would play games with others kids, I would make up stories and share them with my friends, I would ride my bike up and down the street just as just as I imagined I would, with the wind in my hair and sun on my face... I didn't know it at the time, but I was practicing a very elementary and fundamental form of what I like to call, "Visualization into Creation." I used my imagination to visualize in my minds eye some thing or event, and then I participated in its creative birth into my reality!
As an adult I often get creative thoughts and can visualize some pretty detailed scenarios. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way fear entered the equation and changed the direction of my imaginations life energy. I tend to find myself visualizing how great something could be...if only I was smarter, prettier, faster, stronger, yadayadayada. The truth is that I have so many ideas on such a regular basis that were I to write them each down as they came to me I would probably have a book by now and be a billionaire. I am serious! But I have allowed, up to this point, fear to dictate what I will even entertain as possible with regards to my ideas and what I believe I am capable of:
"Well I would paint that image I have in my mind, but I don't know how to use oil paint and it takes time and costs money to go to a class, and even if I went I may not be good at it and people may laugh at me, and even if they don't they will lie to me about how good they think it is and Ill know in my heart that they are lying and dealing with that is just embarrassing for all of us and its really not that great of an idea for a picture anyways so I may as well just forget about it..."
Sound familiar?
What I did was I effectively visualized that event into extinction. Sometimes we get the courage to go ahead and take the class but then we spend so much time visualizing how it will not work out that we end up with a series of coincidental events cropping up in our lives that make it impossible for us to have a good experience:
~had to miss class because of work, lost the only paintbrush that can create the kind of line I need for this next piece, traffic, caught a cold, couldn't find a babysitter, put too much thinner in my white and I don't have a back up tube and I ruined my material...
and in all of that we can justifiably say to other people that we gave it a go, we showed up as much and as best as we could but it just didn't work out. Really what we did was we effectively visualized that original idea into shambles. We had fears that it wouldn't work out and the Universe met our visual demands with road blocks, random difficulties, and so on.
This type of thing plays out in the lives of so many people. For some it is why they don't switch career paths, or apply for that promotion or ask for a raise that is long overdo. For others it is why relationships fall apart or never begin, or why its so hard to quite smoking, or why creativity gets stifled. Whatever it is for you, my dear reader, it is not hopeless. There is a way out of this self inflicted conundrum.
I had a sponsor once who told me that when I get anxious or fear ridden, to take a moment to excuse myself to the ladies room (because no matter where you are in life it is always acceptable to do so!) and while I was in the stall to close my eyes and visualize myself doing an incredible job at whatever it was that I was facing. She told me to imagine what it would look like if I did a fantastic job at giving that presentation, or having dinner with that new family, or working with that new material. Then once I saw the vision, to go out and do it.
In later years, while in therapy, one of the first exercises my therapist had me practice, and continues to have me do, is to visualize what I would look like if I were the kind of woman I always wanted to be. How do I sit or stand? Where are my hands? What kind of space am I in? Is anyone with me? What kind of people are they? Is there anything else there that I notice? ... Interestingly, this is a difficult exercise because it requires that I not acknowledge fear based thinking and only move forward along a path self creation of a person I have never seen before in my minds eye without immediately destroying her. My therapist is essentially asking me to assist in the creative birth of my True Self...
The other day a friend posted a video online by the Galactic Federation of Paleidians (which I wont get into right now!) which captivated me because of a particular line that was spoken:
"visualize yourself preforming the skill as a master in a parallel reality that already exists. Open your heart to this reality and surrender into the void which bridges you into it. Know this reality must exist for if it didn't your intent in manifesting would have never occurred."
All around me the solution is at hand! I am the creator of my own life. Or, if I haven't been up to this point I can certainly begin to take charge now. OR!~ I can assist my Creator with my birth by simply practicing the technique of visualization of myself as the Creator intended me to be.
Furthermore, I can begin to invoke that young spirit from back in my childhood days of playfulness during my practice. I can begin to imagine in a joyful and experimental way what community cooperation would look like were it to manifest. What would starting a conversation with everyone I feel so inclined to talk with result in possibly? What would the expression be on peoples faces if 1000 of us all stopped what we were doing and held hands? Or if everyone in the world set aside their tasks and chores at the same exact time for a moment of silence? What would it look like if it caught on for larger and larger groups of people to come together and agree to imagine the same thing in their collective minds eye as a form of group consciousness to advance an idea or feeling in the world?
ASK AND ANSWER MY FRIENDS!
BE UNINHIBITED BY WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW IS REAL AND OPEN YOUR MIND TO THE TRUTH THAT THERE ARE ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES AND ALL OF THEM ARE WORTH VISUALIZING INTO BEING!
CHOOSE PEACE. CHOOSE COLOR. CHOOSE LIGHT AND LOVE. AND ASK YOURSELF:
WHAT WOULD THAT LOOK LIKE?
THEN...
SEE IT IN YOUR MIND
AND
WATCH IT MANIFEST INTO YOUR REALITY*
Go back to place of when you were a child and you were completely unafraid to play new games and say silly things and make funny faces. Go back to that place where is was OK to make new friends, and try new and exciting things, and share your ideas with whomever will listen~ even if its just yourself in the mirror, or your pet, or your diary.
Break free from the limitations of what you think you know about yourself and this world. Use your imagination. Spread the word.
In pureness and pastel energy,
Namaste
